Pee Painting

My dad used to run this math academy in Korea where he taught/tutored math to students ranging from elementary to high school. As a little kid, (around 4) I would periodically hang out at his academy, and bother/entertain the other students that were there. To keep me occupied, my dad would let me go buy sweets at a nearby store, and other things.

This one specific day, my dad let me go to the store and buy banana milk. I loved banana milk, it was in one of those cartons of milk you would get in elementary school. I drank all of the banana milk. Unfortunately, being a little kid meant I also had a small bladder. One that couldn't withstand the amount of fluid that I drank.

Another thing about my dad's academy back then was that there were no bathrooms in it. So if I or any other student wanted to pee we had to walk all the way to the store and go to the bathroom there. This particular day, my father was especially busy. I was also scared of going to the bathroom by myself because I was a kid and I had been traumatized by horrible stranger danger stories.

So my solution to this problem was to pee into the carton of milk I had drank from, and I did.

Then I went about my day playing outside and bothering more students that were in school. But after the day was over, it was time to clean up the academy.

I did my best to help out, throw things in the trash. But when I came to the carton of banana milk I thought was empty, when I picked it up, there was liquid that was sloshing around in it. My mouth curled in smiles of delight as I realized there was some left.

So I picked it up and drank it.

I was expecting sweet, creamy, delicious, artificial flavored banana hinting with the milk. Instead I got a mouth full of salty pee.

I spewed it out immediately, and like a paint can tipped over, there was pee all over the table.

My father was pissed as he was the one that cleaned up the mess my I was coughing, choking on the taste of pee that was left in my life.

It looked disgustingly beautiful ;)

Pink Sandal Slap

Yes, I was one of those that were picked on as a child. I mean, I guess I still am a child. Does fourteen mean I'm a child? Depends on the person I guess. Anyways, yes I was bullied. Probably because I was an international student, and easy to pick on. (I had a small stature in size) This is one of many of my funny bully stories.

I went to this church in town, and in it was a family similar to mine. Which is totally untrue, but it was what my parents thought anyways. This family had two parents, and a son and daughter.
Now, our parents were somewhat sociable creatures, and I wouldn't say totally befriend but became acquaintances. Btw to any parents who read this, (prob none) please stop trying to pair up your friend's children with yours. If we like each other, sure that's fine, if we don't, just stop trying or else something like this happens. 

 Woah getting off track. That's exactly what happened though. My sister and I didn't like the other children. Let's name them... Nathan and Nicole or the "N" siblings. Nathan was the older sibling, and was in similar age with my older sister. Nicole on the other hand was younger than I. I was 5 years old.

Being five years old is hard. Well, at least it was for me. Everyone expected me to not throw that many tantrums anymore and be a good boy. It was harder when our parents paired me up to be friends with some people I didn't like. The 4 of us didn't like each other immediately. I don't remember everything totally but all I remember is that we used to give each other lots of stink eyes.

Being five I always would act smart, more mature, and adultish than I actually was. In this case, I remember vaguely of an argument occurring between the three of us. I don't remember what caused it, only what it became to be. I choose to act really tough like those movie protagonists that bluff and sneak out of situations.

Let me explain what happened. My sister and I were standing on one side of a hallway like thing, (This was after the church service finished and all the adults were in the kitchen eating)  while on the other side were the N sibling. I folded my hands and tested how far they would go to win the argument. I challenged Nicole to hit me in the face.

Yes it was stupid. I was five, and I was trying to be all tough. I don't exactly remember what I said but it was something along the lines of "I bet you wouldn't hit me in the face" in really poor and broken English. (remember, I had just come from Korea recently).

I remember that she was steaming mad and red in the face. I don't really remember exactly what happened until she hit me in the face.

Now, I challenged her to hit me in the face just to see her squirm, get mad, but walk away because she was too scared to hit me in the face. I totally did not expect/it never went through my mind that she would actually hit me in the face.

Not only did she hit me in the face, but she also hit me in the face with her shoe.

I remember, she had these pink sandals on. They were cutesy ones with flowers or whatever decorations, and were very worn and dirty. She slipped them right off, and without knowing what the hell she was doing, she tiptoed up to me and bitch-smacked me across my face.

Yes, that's right. This girl that was younger than me, and shorter than me, took off her dirty sandals that have been stepping on godknowswhat for the amount of time she'd been wearing them, then hit me with the bottom side, that she might've taken steps in dog crap or whatever on, across my cheek/ear.

I was in total shock.

Of course, me being five meant whatever type of pain/frustration/embarrassment/strong emotion I feel I start tearing up. Which is exactly what happened. I held back the tears as hard as I could but yakno when there's too much tears are in your eyes that it kinda spills out? Yeah, that happened.

My face was beat red, I was crying, my ears were ringing. It wasn't a pretty sight.

What I remember is that I staggered back, and looked at Nathan's face go from shock, to laughter. What an ass... Nicole also had a surprised expression on her face, which also went to laughter.

I don't remember much after that, it's just those expressions that stuck to me for a while.

So yeah, that's what happened.

Many years later (I think like 8?) I came to the same school that Nathan was going to. I don't know if he remembers that day, probably not, but I don't know because I never talked to him. He just looked at me, when we saw each other for the first time in a while, and then just moved on.

I was plotting revenge for a while, and thinking up a way of humiliating him, until I realized how stupid I was being. We were itty-bitty tiny kids. I was being stupid, they were being stupid, and if they looked back on it now, they probably would never do that.

The thing is, I just want to tell you guys, maybe this sorta thing has happened to you. Maybe this sorta thing is what you caused. Just wanna tell those who might've caused this type of shtuff.

We remember this shit even if it's been toomanyyearstocount.
Watch your back.









Jkjk. ;-)

Love,
Abraham Han